Have we lost the plot?

on optimising our lives and losing ourselves in it

There’s an entire industry built around making us better at our lives: morning routines, habit stacks, cold plunges, time blocking, journaling prompts, Notion dashboards. The list could go on and on.

And we’re all in on it - I love it, don’t get me wrong - because it feels like progress. It feels like if we just get the system right, everything else will follow.

But it doesn’t seem that way, does it? And I think I know why.

The thing I got really good at
For most of my twenties, I optimised my life around my career. And I was good at it. I showed up and I delivered. I made big decisions: where to live, what to prioritise, what to say yes and no to based on what made sense for the next step professionally.

I’m not sure it was a conscious choice, I think it just became the default mode - career first, life around it.

And from the outside it looked great. Dream job, good salary, very interesting work, a life that looked purposeful and driven. I had optimised my life yes, and I realized I had optimised around the wrong thing – external success.

I guess I never really stopped to ask myself: what kind of life do I actually want? Like, to really sit with this question and think deeply about it. Not about what’s the next logical career move. Not what looks good on paper. What do I actually want my life to feel like, day to day?

The problem underneath the productivity obsession
So at this point I don’t think most of us feel unproductive because we need to optimize more. We don’t need a better morning routine or a smarter to-do list. We need to know what kind of life we want – and that’s a clarity problem.

When you don’t know what you’re working towards - what you actually want, what genuinely fulfils you - no system can fix that. You can be incredibly consistent and disciplined and still feel like you’re running on a treadmill - moving fast and going nowhere.

And the tricky part is that optimising feels like doing something. It feels responsible and proactive, instead of sitting and thinking: What am I actually building this for?

The question we keep skipping
That question is uncomfortable because it doesn’t have a clean answer. It requires you to get honest about what you want separate from what you’ve been conditioned to want and from external validation. Separate from what your industry tells you success looks like, what your parents hoped for, what made sense when you were 22.

But when you know your why everything actually changes. It sounds cliché but when you know what you’re actually working towards - something that’s genuinely yours - showing up becomes so much easier because it just makes sense.

So before you buy another habit tracker, redesign your schedule or optimise your mornings - ask yourself what you’re optimising for. Start getting clear with yourself, then everything else will fall into place.

See you next Monday,
Mariana

Ps: If you’ve been feeling like you’re doing all the right things and still feel off - this one is for you. Send me a message, I’d love to hear where you’re at.